Your guide to a Filippino meeting

(Before I get started, please note that this post is totally meant tongue-in-cheek and in good fun. I’ve only attended a very select few meetings, so I am sure I am making gross generalizations).

One thing I did not realize I would be doing when I first arrived in Bohol is attending meetings.  However, through my involvement in organizing the Bohol Dolphin Fest (coming up in 10 days!!), I’ve actually attended my share of meetings while working here.  I am no stranger to meetings- work life at the Aquarium is full of them- but meetings in the Philippines (or at least in Bohol) are of another breed all together than those I attend at home.  After half a dozen or so, I’ve made you, dear blog-reader (all 10 of you) a guide to a Filippino meeting, so that should you ever need it, you won’t be as lost as I was at first.

1) Learn to be late:  The most important thing you should learn about meetings in the Philippines is that they do not start on time.  In fact, they don’t ever even come close to starting on time and we are not talking about a 15 minute delay.  No, meetings here routinely commence over an hour late.  You may think you are being a boy scout by showing up on time, but your only reward will be sitting in room alone.  No one gives you brownie point for being on time and the meeting will not start until everyone is there (there is no ‘we’ll get started and fill so-and-so in when they arrive’).  So get over your need to be on time (even if being late gives you heart palpitations like it does me) because even if you show up 30 minutes after the scheduled start time, you will still be one of the first people there.   You should probably bring a book to entertain yourself in the meantime.

2) Feel faithful: Meetings in the Philippines, whether at a government office or the town council chambers, start with a prayer.  I was a little taken aback the first time this happened, as I was in the office of the Department of Fisheries which, as someone that grew up in secular Canadian society, seemed an odd place to be praying.  Then I started to giggle inside a bit (which wasn’t really appropriate since people were praying) as I imagined starting a meeting at work with Lance or JN asking God to guide us in making good decisions.  Often the prayers ask for blessings for those attending and for something to be accomplished, which should probably have more to do with people doing the tasks they were assigned than God, but that might just be my heathen thinking…

3) Sweet tooth required:  Awesome part about meetings in the Philippines?  There are always snacks.  Always.  They are served to you by some guy who appears to be the office waiter, though I am sure he has other, unseen functions.  The snacks, however, are almost always sweet.  Usually it consists of some sort of pastry and a cup of 3-in-1.  While I am always up for a mid-afternoon pastry, the 3-in-1 has never grown on me.  Essentially it is instant coffee with coffeemate and about 17 tablespoons of sugar already mixed in.  Ugh.  One time we were in a town council meeting and the councillors were served fast food hamburgers, which didn’t really seem like a better option.  All in favour? Cheeseburger. 

4) Turn your ringtone up:  Yes, it’s true, not only do you not turn off your cellphone ringer in a meeting here, but it appears to be completely acceptable to have a very loud and sometimes inappropriate pop song or animal noise as your ringtone.  Texting is also completely acceptable during a meeting.  At first I thought this was totally rude, but I think Filippinos have an unbelievable ability to multi-task. They can be texting and still contributing to the conversation.  I can’t even walk and text at the same time, let alone listen and contribute to a work meeting.

5)  BYOSTP (Bring your own sweater and TP):  This is a tropical country.  In my time here, the temperature has rarely dipped below the low-thirties, high-twenties.  However, if you attend a meeting at a government office, you will be treated to some mad air con in their conference room.  At first it will feel a welcome relief from the heat, but after a few minutes of your body temperature dropping, it can get excessively chilly.  Usually it won’t be turned off, so bring a sweater or else you might turn into a popsicle.  The other crucial supply to bring with you: toilet paper.  Like many Asian countries, TP isn’t supplied in many bathrooms, even in government offices.  I am not sure what they do (there doesn’t always appear to be the usual bucket system you find in other countries), but I figured it was a mystery I didn’t need to ask about and have learned to always have a little pack with me.  As an aside, Vale and I have slowly mapped the best public bathrooms in this province over the past few months- perhaps we can write a travel guide entitled ‘Bathrooms of Bohol’?

6) The more the merrier:  The meetings I’ve attended have been packed.  It appears that anyone and everyone with a remote interest in the subject is invited to attend.  Often the people that really need to be there to make the decisions decide not to come and instead send several proxies who sit there, text, but have no authority to make the needed decision.  This seems like a good position to be in- an afternoon off your normal duties to escape the heat and eat snacks- sign me up! 

7) Expect to be there a while: The meetings I have attended have never been speedy.  As per the last few points, they start late and they tend to meander at a languid pace with breaks for snacks etc.  An afternoon meeting is that- it lasts all afternoon.  Each point of the agenda is discussed, debate ensues (usually over points that involve food or free t-shirts), ringtones buzz, and people laugh a lot.  That is one thing I love about the Philippines, the ability of the people here to laugh.  In fact, while I may have found it frustrating at times, working here has been a good reminder not to take ‘work’ too seriously.  Things get done when they get done.  Stressing out about it appears to have little place in Filippino society.  There definitely isn't the same sense of ‘now’-urgency and hyper-planning that is so prevalent in North American society.  People can be late.  If you don’t do what you were supposed to, there appears to be no major embarrassment or apology, you’ll just do it later.  If you say you were going to show up, but don’t, people shrug it off.  Things aren’t done the most efficient way, but they are often done in a more personal way.  Real letters are still sent.  You go into an office to talk to someone as opposed to emailing them.  Follow-ups are done in person….you get the picture.  I hope I can take back some of this laid-back attitude to my work at home…but not too much or I may loose my job.  ;)